Razz Reviews SPECTRE. Sort of……












I don´t mention anything that isn’t in the trailers. But that’s because there really isn’t anything that’s not in the trailers that is really worth mentioning……



This was a bit of a letdown for me. I went home thinking more about what they tried to do, more so than what they actually did. Now it’s far from a bad movie. It’s far from the worst Bond movie. It’s just not a very good movie. Bond or otherwise.

I remember hearing complaints from people after they saw Casino Royale. They were upset that Bond did not say ” Bond, James Bond”  and didn’t know  a shaken martini from a milkshake. We get all that in this movie however, but I wouldn’t say it helped it much.

The problem for me with the film is first and foremost that it’s really boring. There are a few action sequences in the film, but they seemed like they were put there because they had to have them there, not because the anyone wanted them there.  The best example is the car chase scene. Sure they are driving fast and all, but it even looks like Daniel Craig himself was bored doing it. It’s all very “by the numbers-ish”


The opening of the film was promising enough. A really cool tracking shot follows Bond and a lady friend thorough The Day of the Dead festivities in Mexico. Bond is on an unsanctioned mission to kill some dude.  It goes a bit tits up to say the least, and ends in a mad helicopter scene  which sadly does not end with Bond returning to his lady friend, as it bloody well should have  , but instead leads into the SPECTRE opening credits. The intro was actually pretty neat visually. It shows a bunch of characters from the previous films, and if they had left it there, instead of HITTING the audience repeatedly over the head with pictures of these people throughout the movie, it would have been great. WE GET IT. IT’S ALL CONNECTED .

This was the first time I heard the Sam Smith song, and I will die a happy man If I never have to hear it again. It is utter trank. I rank it THE WORST BOND THEME EVER.

I could actually just post the synopsis for the film and end it with THE END. Because that’s basically it. In fact, lets do that

A cryptic message from the past sends James Bond on a rogue mission to Mexico City and eventually Rome, where he meets Lucia Sciarra (Monica Bellucci), the beautiful and forbidden widow of an infamous criminal. Bond infiltrates a secret meeting and uncovers the existence of the sinister organisation known as SPECTRE.

Meanwhile back in London, Max Denbigh (Andrew Scott), the new head of the Centre for National Security, questions Bond’s actions and challenges the relevance of MI6, led by M (Ralph Fiennes). Bond covertly enlists Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) and Q (Ben Whishaw) to help him seek out Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux), the daughter of his old nemesis Mr White (Jesper Christensen), who may hold the clue to untangling the web of SPECTRE. As the daughter of an assassin, she understands Bond in a way most others cannot.

As Bond ventures towards the heart of SPECTRE, he learns of a chilling connection between himself and the enemy he seeks, played by Christoph Waltz.

THE END. Seriously.


Its utter TRANK.

The movie pretty much builds to an anticlimactic climax. It has a few good parts. A few laughs here and there, but nothing memorable. I get what they tried to do. How they tried to connect all the previous films to this one, but it just does not work very well. And the more you think about it , the more unlikely it gets. It’s like the main bad guy in this has just waited for James Bond to figure it all out. WHY ?? Who knows ?

I liked Dave Bautista in the film. There is an awesome fight scene between him and Bond which is possibly the best Bond fight ever.

Lea Seydoux does well enough, but the whole way Bond gets to her character is another part of the film that completely falls apart if you stop to think about it. It makes NO SENSE whatsoever.  I liked Mr White in the previous films. But the more you think about why he is in this film. What he does. What he says etc. The more you go ” Wait. What ? Huh ? Why ? ”


Christoph Waltz is also wasted in the film. Not drugged up i mean, but perhaps something interesting would have come out of it if he actually was high. Whatever his character’s actual plan was is kind of not really worth thinking too much about. Because it just makes so little sense in the end. And at the end of the day, I just didn’t care.

If we say that James Bond , like Daniel Craig ,is also 47 years old,  then it seems Waltz’s character  had at least 12775 opportunities to kill Bond at anytime. It’s like i could hear Scott Evil screaming in the back of my mind as I was watching this.

So that’s my thoughts on SPECTRE. I got what they were trying to do, but it all just failed in the end IMO.

I would rather have seen a film about Secret Agent 00005  Fission Chips going up against B.U.G.G.E.R  (Blowhard’s Unreformed Gangsters, Goons, and Espionage Renegade. s)  for killing his woman Conception Galore !! But alas, that aint gonna happen.

I read that this film is making BANK in Europe. There were at least 8 showings of the film the night I went to see it, and they were all damn near sold out. And I’m sure the yanks will be going in droves to see it this weekend. And when Daniel Craig gets his back end, or producers money I bet he will be wanting to make another 007 movie.

I may have been a bit vague here with all my ” It makes no sense” comments.  I might  do another write up where i go a little more in depth about what i mean, and which parts in particular I am talking about. But that will have to be at a later time when the rest of the world has seen the film.


-Razzbender, Michael Razzbender.




  • Well, now that I’ve gotten “spoiled” by the big twist from various sources and also learned the “motivation” behind the villain, I gotta say: perhaps Kurtzman & Orci are NOT the worst screenwriters out there working.

    • I don’t know about big twist. I remember we talked about this in March


      Thing is, near the end of the film when shit is “revealed” , if you don´t already know, then you haven´t been watching the film. Because you can easily piece it together way before hand. We both got it from the teaser trailer…..

      I’m gonna write my ” Biggest Grievance With Spectre” piece in the near future. Because it all seems so thrown together. I remember deciding not to read what came out of the Sony e-mail hack, but I went back to it after seeing the film. Makes sense now


      At least Sam Mendes didn’t go on twitter and trank on his own film. Spectre is gonna do major dollars me thinks.

    • I’ve seen the film, and I still can’t figure out the villain’s motivation. Or lack of motivation I should say. And that’s been a mayor problem with all these new films. No real memorable villain. No Dr No, Scaramanga , Goldfinger type. Mads was pretty cool, but even in the film its pretty clear he is just a puppet.

      • Well, from what I’ve gathered, his (“Oberhauser’s”) motivation – and the reason for all the shit Bond has been through in the last 3 films – is that his dad liked Bond more than him. Which is just about the most fucking stupid thing imaginable.

        • See that’s what I don´t buy about it. Why not just kill Bond when he was 12 years old ?? Why build a multi trillion dollar evil organization , to fuck with one dude occasionally ??? IDK.

          Also, I found this review . I am 100% this douchebag had not seen the film when he wrote it. It’s not possible !!


          Its pretty good for a laugh having seen the film. Im also close to finishing my rant piece on Spectre. Probably won’t publish it until the end of November, early December though. Its pretty incoherent. I’m just rambling on 🙂