Batman v Superman Review/Rant

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Hello all.  I attended a midnight screening of Batman V Superman : Dawn of Justice. And I have somewhat calmed myself down enough to write about it…..

First off Zack Snyder had the nerve to actually come on in a prerecorded message begging us not to spoil the film for others. And I won’t do that. What I think he really was asking was to please don´t tell anyone how BAD he messed this film up. And that is where I MUST draw the line. I will refer to him as Hack Snyder, or just HACK from now on. And not just for this review, but from now on until the day I die.

Hack was maybe a good commercial and music video director. He is a visual director no doubt. Its just that he is totally inept when it comes to characters and storytelling.

And indeed this movie is a perfect example of what happens when a director has no concept of characters , and how to tell a story. It is a complete mess. And Hack seems to forget plot points he gives us as easily as people forget about Sucker Punch after having seen it.

The film is easily an hour too long, and Hack actually has a LONGER cut for the blu ray release !! Most likely this is either due to pointless dream sequences or flashbacks to something that has NOTHING to do with the plot. And when i say plot, I use the word lightly, because there is VERY LITTLE here plot wise. There is a story here, and with much mental juggling I guess the case can be made that they follow through on it. Unlike Fant4stic this movie does have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Bravo

We get a quick intro of the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents during the opening credits. Then we get to relive the ending of Hacks Man of Steel movie, only this time seen from Bruce Wayne’s point of view. It can best be summed up by this car commercial directed by Hack Snyder

 I give him credit for that. Deciding “hey, i´ll make a car commercial at the same time as this movie ” . Pretty ballsy. I hope they paid him well for it.

After this we get a ” 18 months later ” deal on the screen and I was guessing the movie could begin now. And it does. And it goes on and on and on. I would say for the first 60-80 min at least ,next to NOTHING happens in this movie. Nothing of importance really. We see Batman being Batman briefly , and Superman being Superman, and it just goes on. I was sitting watching it thinking surely something has to happen soon. But it really was a slow crawl that first hour. There was a bit were some people were scuba diving . A bit about Lois Lane in Africa for no reason. Then it skipped to some senate hearing were an African woman was talking to Senator Finch ( Holly Hunter ) a member of the United States Senate  who chairs a committee tasked with “investigating the activities of Superman”. They talk about that thing that happened in Africa 5 min earlier. Made no sense to me, and it was pointless anyway so lets move on.

I guess one of the main points Hack tried to convey was the public, and the states opinion on Superman. But it does this in an incoherent way. The authorities seem to love AND hate him. They investigate and scrutinize his escapades ALL over the world. Yet they build statues of him all over the place.  Likewise the people love and adore him.Worship him.  Until they don’t a minute later and they all want to burn him Seriously, they chant BURN HIM and burn effigies of him . Like that would work ?

Meanwhile Bruce Wayne is on a quest to destroy Superman. And this is the part of the film I really liked. I liked it so much that I seriously suspect that Ben Affleck directed his own scenes in the film, and just agreed to keep it a secret. I am 100% behind Ben as Batman. This is a brutal Batman. And his reasons for wanting to take out Superman is totally believable. You get Bruce Wayne, and his motivation. I’m not sure if Batman actually KILLS bad gys or not, but he sure brutalises them to an extent that the previous versions never did. There is one car chase here that comes of as Hack trying to outdo Chris Nolan from The Dark Night.

Superman’s reasons for disliking Batman however is a mystery to me.And its never really explored. He just doesn’t like him, and goes on and on about it, mostly as Clark Kent, which from the trailers you can see Laurence Fishburne’s Perry White get mighty pissed at him .

“Nobody cares about Clark Kent taking on the Batman “.  Too freaking true.

Speaking of not getting motivations, Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor , and his reasons for doing anything that he does in the film is also a damn mystery. He is the one player here that I outright hated. Not in a good way, like you would hate on Ralph Fiennes when he plays a villain like Amon Goeth . But hate because his performance is so over the top and nonsensical that the question could be asked if Jesse ever did any research into the character at all. They way he acts, talks, and moves all come off as irritating.  This is a quote from Hack

” When Lex Luthor confronts Superman and they talk about the why of it, it’s a crushingly cool point of view.”

I’m wondering if they cut that point of view out of the movie ? Do I have to see the the extended bluray version to get this point of view, because for the life of me, I did not get it. And the character seems to have it in for Batman even more so than Superman. This is never explained either.

And as far as the Batman v Superman fight, you’ve seen it in the trailers. . That’s it. I really can’t get too much into the final act without spoiling stuff. I will say however that the whole confrontation did not come about how I thought it would. There are other things in play, but this is something you have to see for yourselves. 

I must however comment about the end of this film itself. Without getting into spoilers of course.

It just goes on and on and on.  Challenging Return of The Kings record for keeping people in the seats even though the movie was over long ago. It seemed like ages , and Hack tries to set up some things for his Justice League movie, but at this point I was just mad because the credits should be rolling, and I should be on my way home.The final shot in the film was a joke, and I’m betting a lot of people won’t even really catch it.

This is a massive turd of a film in my opinion, and I bet it will make enough money so that HACK Snyder can continue wasting our time with the Justice League. Because believe me, the time he wastes in this one, and how it ends, makes it a CERTAINTY that Hack Snyder has to spend at LEAST the first hour of Justice League just trying to fix the mistakes made in this film.

I am bitterly disappointed …….

Wonder Woman I must say, was good. The fact is that when when she showed up I was actually relieved  , because what had been going on up to that point was so by the numbers boring bullshit that i couldn’t hardly believe it.

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Ben Affleck has my stamp of approval, and I can’t wait until he makes his own Batman film.

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Jesse Luthor was a JOKE, a bad one at that, and Superman was just the same as he was in Man of Steel .Nothing more , nothing less.

Sure the film has some cool moments, and good action in it, but this does not outweigh the glaring inconsistencies and plotholes .Way too many Whats, Whys, and Hows. And the whole film is completely devoid of humor.  And I have serious doubts about Warner Brothers completing the slate of DC films they have laid out . The money this movie makes will decide, and In my humble opinion I think word of mouth will KILL this movie , so they better make as much money as they can before that happens. Repeat viewings are NOT gonna be happening.  Thanks Hack. Thanks a lot.

-Razz

  • Fleety420 .

    the movie suxed azz

  • Ben Affleck knows. He knew from day on the set of #BatmanvSuperman

    https://youtu.be/cwXfv25xJUw

  • Stalkeye

    Eisenberg sucked? I called it!! I’m seeing it just for Batfleck!!
    Yes, I liked him as Daredevil so sue me.